Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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