this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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