he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
