Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
