she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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