Screwed.edu
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
