Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
