I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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