I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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