Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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