And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
