his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
