dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
