i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
