we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
