Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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