And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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