were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Semen is not good for contacts.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize