I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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