Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
