im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
