I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
