I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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