it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
