I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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