I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize