oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
