This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
