I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
