bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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