She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Houston, we have a squirter
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
