I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
farters have to be the big spoon...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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