People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
