As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
