We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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