Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
