That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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