I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
