U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
