our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
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But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
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I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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