You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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