I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize