idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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