Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
