How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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