So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Dicks are not precious.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
