did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
