whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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