You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
