if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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