I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize