Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
