EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
