so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
