Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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