what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
