I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
