honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
