yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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