Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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