Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
