Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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