i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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