dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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